An intrepid commando unit of scran seekers found themselves deep in the Dagenham jungle for a belly busting showdown between the area’s rival pie & mash eateries, Brook’s and Heath Pie Shop.

Shortly after 12:40 hours, we climbed down the gang plank and descended on our first port of call, Brook’s. Over 8 years have passed since we last visited this local culinary icon.

On starters orders Terry Moore wisely went for a 1&1. His typical choice of libation is something fizzy, which can act like rocket fuel under these circumstances.

Meanwhile, seasoned pro Richard Lucas prefers a drop of H20 to help wash the meal. As a decorated veteran of many a club gong, he is well versed in the art of portion control.

Although this was only the first shop, some like to take the gung-ho approach like these pair of brave mavericks. Nick Evans was firmly in competitive mode as he packed in the points, while Keith Allwright went for his usual 2&2. As a newbie to the double header scene, he was yet to realise the stodge filled peril that lay ahead. 

The pies were well-packed with a torrent of mince, whilst the bobbled pastry-top is a unique local feature only found in Dagenham.  

Your recorder grinned bravely for the lens, despite the gastronomic obstacles that potentially lay ahead. A glass of orange squash proved the ideal tonic to help calm those nerves.

Having driven all the way from his home in East Dean right up the shop’s doorstep, Ray Goldstone was keen to clock in the miles by having first dibs on the chilli vinegar.

The shop has had a radical makeover since our last trip. On New Year’s Day 2024, the shop was repeatedly rammed in by a joyrider, destroying much of the furniture in the process.

Unperturbed by this incident, within four months the shop was extensively renovated and restored, before re-opening for business last April.

This establishment caters discounts for a number of different age demographics. Their term-time student meal deal looks particularly enticing, does this also count for mature students?

A flurry of posted notes plastered around the counter can throw a person into a state of confusion.

Proprietor and pie maestro Alan has been commanding the helm for nearly quarter of a century. In that time, he has prepped thousands of pies and seen generations of customers dine at the table tops.

Whichever culinary establishment he visits, Moore always goes for afters, even at this half-way point in our gluttonous odyssey.

Chilli vinegar is a typical condiment found at each table. Legend has it there’s something even spicier and more sinister lurking in the undergrowth - alas its whereabouts were nowhere to be seen.

A signed 1995 centenary t-shirt from West Ham, back in the days when they were sponsored by Dagenham Motors helps promote the shop’s local connection.

Alan gamely posed with the five-aside team, just before they broke off for half time.

An extensive trek through Dagenham’s residential sprawl followed - for what seemed an eternity. A relentless conveyor belt of passing traffic and interwar semis filled our vision. The promise of pie & mash seemed like a mirage in this suburban desert.

Just after a quarter to two, we caught a sighting our second venue, Heath Pie Shop, otherwise known as Mac’s.

A decade has elapsed since the club's last visit, yet like a time capsule it has remained unchanged. Due to the shop’s relatively modest size, to help save on space, the serving counter is literally through a hole in the wall.

Allwright charged into battle with another double double assault. However, the long break between meals would ultimately prove to be his undoing.

Moore sensibly went for another 1&1, though he eschewed his usual can of pop for some squash to help wash down the tucker.

Meanwhile over in the blue corner, Goldstone sat alone by the window facing side-table, and went for a surf and turf combination. A useful tactic to help reinvigorate the tastebuds at this perilous point in the skirmish.

Evans on the other hand prefers things spicier, he deftly performed emergency surgery on his pie, injecting it with a much-needed dose of chilli vinegar to help give it some added zing.

Lucas unleashed his inner locust by going for a hefty two pie, mash and eel combo. Flashes of his glory days when he reigned supreme passed before him as he relighted the competitive flame. Yet a seemingly perilous journey through fields of pastry and mountains of mash laid before him.

Sensing the air of competition around me, I scrambled my tastebuds in close formation in order to stay in the game, and ordered a side order of stewed eels to help shore up the points.

The dimpled and bevelled edges of the pastry tops reminded me of the shop’s family link to Stacey’s of Basildon, and the much-missed McDowell’s of Romford. Meanwhile the side bowl proved to be a useful spittoon, to help dispense with the eel bones without losing pace on the meal.

As the hour hand rolled on past two, things were getting heated in the heart of battle as the competitors strove the finish their fare.

Lucas proved to be the day's highest scorer with a high point tally of 27. Nearly a decade has passed since he last topped the scoreboard at our visit to Maldon Pie & Mash back in April 2016. So, this achievement proves all the worthwhile.

Unfortunately for Allwright, this meal proved to be a ‘mash too far’, as he felled short in his progress to devour the soft yet deceptively filling mash.

Terry lived up to his family name by bookending his meal with another round of afters. This meeting will forever go down in memory - for the day when Moore went double.

Dazed but not defeated, we came out of the meal with our heads hanging high, and our stomachs hanging low.

A giant clock replete in Roman numerals reminded us that we were heading deep into the depths of afternoon nap time.

Owner and commander-in-pie, Tracy, is the third generation to manage this long running family business, that has been serving the good folk of Becontree Avenue since 1954.

In this increasingly cashless society, this shop is among a number of local businesses promoting the use of cash. For long may we have the chance to use some readies when paying up the bill.

In terms of size, the kitchen at this shop is relatively compact and humble in comparison to some of the monstrous industrial units that we have previously encountered in our travels.

Inspirational signs are dotted around the vicinity, from the naughty corner to the best seat in the house. Put that phone away you blaggard and let’s communicate to each other like the good old days!

For a second shop in a row, we were accompanied by the proprietor in our valedictory post-meal group shot.

We hobbled our way down the street towards The Mattapan, to help soak up the wounds from our stodgy clash. Despite our weary state, we sportingly supped a few tipples well into the afternoon.

Ale and Victorius

MG