The Club’s early summer jaunt to Southend might more accurately be described as a trip to Southchurch. In bright May sunshine, the ‘group savers’, including the Harveys en velo, alighted at Southend East into a modest and generally tidy suburb of 1930’s terraces. No hint here of the funfair attractions and amusement arcades which lie a mile or so to the west. There was time for your correspondent and Ace Harvey to hoist trouser cloth and take the surf; the beach is located about a half mile due south of the station.

On the way back up to our lunch assignment, we passed a number of independent retail delights including ‘Funky Barnets’ and ‘Sophisti-Cakes’.

The day’s destination diner was the bright blue-fronted Brickie’s, established here in Hamstel Road in 2021. It’s just off the big crossroads with the A13, diagonally opposite the Old Walnut Tree pub.

The dining room, comprised of thin marble tops and Windsor chairs, is on the small side and couldn’t accommodate our unheralded party, so we took that staircase up to the first floor ‘break out’ area.

With Henry Hoover stowed away in a corner, the room was perfectly appointed for the away team, although I felt some sympathy for the young lady bringing our plates from the kitchen up that long narrow staircase. So I did some bussing myself.

Mike’s windowside table offered a sweeping panorama of the Walnut Tree junction.

The Harveys each had a can of cold fizz to accompany the hot stodge.

Close-up over a Brickie’s two-and-one; a classic scrape of mash in a pond of liquor. With pale centres and a dark circumference, the pie tops looked a bit unconventional. We thought the pastry case could have been improved, but the filling was good and the mash, though it looked rugged, performed well on plate and palate. A generous slick of liquor helped to grease the gullet.

The upstairs function room – white with mid-blue wainscot.

My former work colleague made a surprise guest appearance. Keen to prove her credentials as a lady who likes to lunch, Louise Dugdale of Leigh-on-Sea was able to dispatch the men in her life on a trip to Homebase while she chewed through a slice of the Pie Life. Last time we saw Louise was at our Southend beano ten years previous, when son Joe was a mere babe-at-arms.

[Far right] The club’s ‘Bongonauts’ Harry and Karen. Note the table lamps: perfect low-lit ambience for your romantic evening at Brickie’s. I think it’s BYOB [booze, not bricks].

Man-of-many spreadsheets Nigel Pond of Epsom was keen to stencil a few more pies onto his fuselage.

[Far right] Once he’s over a plate of pie and mash, Terry Moore needs no special assistance at all.

But a drizzle of Vinney can aid in a complete clean-up – just one squirt will make your crockery sparkle.

Our hospitality team, Johnny and Holly. If you can’t fly the flag in a pie shop, where can you? [Although technically speaking, that one’s upside down.]

Some establishments like to issue a promotional challenge/free lunch to the big eater. My constructive suggestion for this shop is Brickie’s Wall of Pies [eight and two halves – you work it out] with a mortar of mash applied by trowel and liquor poured from a miniature cement mixer on the counter. The successful contestant gets to wear the Golden Helmet.

The blue team. Nigel’s shirt was a near-perfect match.

Just around the corner next to the Big Yin hair salon is Mawson’s Micro, to which we adjourned for cooling libations. Wherein Terry and Ace duelled on the vintage tabletop Pac Man.

Having a seafront ice cream – it’d be rude not to. Especially as Brickie’s doesn’t do any afters options.

From dessert to deserted at Southchurch Seafront. Far from the bright lights and slots, it’s great place to go if you’ve got a headache.

St@