A drear December drizzle may have dampened the pavements of Borough and Bermondsey, but not the dogged spirit of four pilgrims intent upon Manze’s Mecca of Pies at Tower Bridge Road.

It being December 3rd, a tasteful distribution of festive adornments twinkled within this late Victorian mansion of mash, as the dinner ladies went about business in their familiar emerald green garb. Had Messrs Coca and Cola not hijacked Christmas a hundred years ago we might still see Santa Claus thus attired with white fur trim and a pair of black wellies.

The ugly inter-booth plastic partitions of 2020 have been removed; instead there is a splash-proof windscreen at the counter. Otherwise business is transacted normally, as Doug here demonstrates.

Reduced as we were to a 4-piece ‘eat combo’, a single narrow marbletop was sufficient to accommodate plates, side bowls, condiments, elbows and emergency reading material.

Tom Leader attacked Manze’s wares with a powerful appetite – he’s seen here dispatching the first course with fingerlickin’ aplomb. In case you’ve never noticed, Leader is a champion of sloganned apparel. For his reader’s digest, Tom takes the Private Eye by back issue – after it has completed a six month news mulch.

The eagle-eyed reader will have noted the poor quality of these photographs, taken on my ageing camera-phone. Thanks to Mike Goldwater for his meticulous enhancements which have brought these close-ups to eye-watering, nostril quivering life.

Lady in green, you are a pie queen. Chris de Burgh, if you feel a rewrite coming on, please drop us a line.

Hall of Mirrors

The Star Under Bethlehem [’s clock]

O come all ye tasteful, jellied and pieumphant.

St@