At the time of writing, in early April 2020, it will have become apparent to regular readers of this column and pie and mash fans everywhere that we have had to suspend our free-ranging dining activities throughout the south east. As this scheduled event at Hoxton loomed nearer, I started to receive emails from those who decided better to stay at home, although bar and restaurant closures had yet to take effect.

So I found myself caught up in a movement of enthusiasm and a 'show must go on spirit' apparent in the three other participants, Ed Mosse, Sharon Morton and Laura Grant [aka 'Shazza' and 'Lozza']. These latter two enlivened our trip to Felixstowe two years ago and were expending some annual leave with a trip to town. Thus did we four make conjunction onkeypress=""at Cooke's Pie and Mash Shop on Hoxton Street at the hour of 13.11 on Friday 13th March.

The eel steaks formed my customary side plate, enhanced with a hot sauce from the independent trader across the road. As the word reached Cooke's of readily available supplies of bog roll, an enterprising member of staff dashed across to replenish dangerously thin stock.

As a committed member of the showbiz fraternity, Ed Mosse's attitude to the whole media frenzy was bullish as he ploughed into the mighty meatiness before him.

The counter lass was in good form, but I thought the presentation of the mash lacked a little of Kim Cooke's panache and aplomb. The Mighty Cooke's were both out in their Hoxton tractor, delivering vital supplies to those locals stuck in doors.

What you see in this close-up is the aftermath of the key incision, which unleashed a torrent of gravy about the outer perimeter of the plate. What remained under the hood was something approaching a 'pattie' – which I don't recall from recent visits to this fine establishment. Taste was fine; just a lack of overall coherence in the overall package.

For some inexplicable reason both ladies seem to favour the black-tops available from another tin at the counter. There was no questioning the enthusiasm of their pursuit for the traditional London fare, but as their jaws wore on, they seemed to reach their carbon limit.

To me the appearance of these pastries suggested highway maintenance, and the filling was more 'patty' than mine or Ed's. No amount of liquor could induce the ladies to complete a task that had seemed mere child's play at the outset.

Critical comments were voiced unabashedly, and I wonder what Kim Cooke would have made of it had she be in earshot. My advice in a scenario like this is to make an early taste test and return them to the counter for a more palatable alternative. That way you give yourself and the shop a chance to rectify the situation.

The shy pie-girl putting in a hard shift out the back agreed to pause and come through for some photographic recognition.

[Far right] Our confident and genial hostess Char Char, a product of the famous Hoxton Hospitality School. The distinctive plug in the rollover image caught my eye as a vintage item of catering equipment.

Other scenes from the shop, including a peak into the kitchen and behind the counter. The menu board reflected some comparatively high tariffs, but you've to remember they are trying to keep this magnificent institution afloat in an increasingly high-rent area. Vegan pie and mash was still being advertised as available.

So, a somewhat muted, mixed bag conclusion to Round 9 of the Season 19-20, but one that did not dim the jollity and camaraderie we created on the day.

Some examples of local urban artistic expression that have sent Hoxton rental and real estate values sky-rocketing.

Ed and I bade the ladies farewell, in search of refreshment on what turned into a balmy afternoon. Who knew it would be our last live beer for the foreseeable?

Our toast: to your continued strong health and morale in these challenging times for friendly people.

Will keep you informed if/when restrictions are lifted.
Your scrib,
St@