Take me home please
Golden Pies,188 Lavender Hill, SW11
Season 2016-2017

[Right] Compare and contrast a similar picture from the club report of January 2013 when last we visited this unassuming dining room on Lavender Hill. Fifty pence has been added to the basic items in the left column, whilst the pudding prices are frozen at £3. The same warm welcome is included in the tariff.

We took to our eels, each in his own style. The portion was modest, but well presented and not overstewed. Dunns River Hot Sauce is a superb splash-on for 'eels without' and the 85ml bottle gives you portable poke for just 59p from Asda.

[Below] Closer scrutiny.


Mosse and Benford wade in.

It's not a purist's platter – there are no burnt tops or mash scrapes here – but the flavour and visual flare of the fare is undeniable. It's difficult to believe there isn't a sprinkle of gold dust in those pie lids.

Len Wilcock caught the Pie and Mash Express direct from his home town of Crewkerene into Clapham Junction to join the fray. Let his deft handling of fork and spoon be an example to younger players coming into the game; surely a masterclass video with commentary by the Gobfather himself is forthcoming?

[Far right] There was a new boatrace at our table, Mr Nick Everton, a man whose name is so disquietingly like my own that I felt the need to call him Dick. A happy conjunction of timetables meant the West Londoner could add some heft to our pie-lifting activities – which is what you'd expect from a too-big-for-the-bin man.

Golden boys with their golden wonders:

Goldstone wouldn't look out of place in a pro-celebrity Pie and Mash tournament.

Goldwater at the crucial anointment-of-ointment stage.

[Below] Brown-and-beige interior, with buffs. Attempting a photo of Len, I remarked 'It's difficult to get far enough away from you.' The reply: 'Not the first time I've heard that.'

Judith Deschamps, making a cup of frothy coffee look positively regal.

Jean's personal cutlery is maintained to surgical standards. Like her wit, it's razor sharp and you wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of it.

This treacle-topped steamer added to the gallery of golden delights.

{Below] Digestion and cogitation.

Spotted Dug.

Chilli Vin.

Ali Ziweck is your genial host and pieman at GP. You may recall that he served a 21-year apprenticeship at Cooke's in the Bush. Well, we had the delightful privilege of being served by the unforgettable Tina, a long-standing dinner lady of Cooke's whose charm and refinement have left a lasting impression on generations of QPR supporters.

Keeping things bang up-to-date, Ali now offers a delivery service by Uber within a 3-mile radius of the shop.

[Right] A Golden sunset on Lavender Hill.

[Below] Friend-of-the Club Paul Grice is a big fan and often drops by for dinner on his way back from work. That's because, aside from trading every day of the week, Golden Pie is open till 8pm on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Here's a selfie of Gricey from later on:

Just around the corner in Lavender Gardens is a former music-hall turned pub called The Four Thieves, to which our assembly repaired for a round of refreshers. It's a sprawling and quirky entertainment-led venue which also brews its own beer.

Pie shop and pub make the prospect even more pleasant from Lavender Hill.

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