Take me home please
Arment's,7–9 Westmoreland Road,SE17
Season 2010-2011

Welcome to Pie and Mash in 2011.

It's just how you like it . . .

warm, wet and slippery.

ROUND 6
07.01.'11

played
eels (4)
pie (4)
mash (3)
afters (2)
liquor (1)
sum
total
NICK EVANS
6
1
2
1
0
1
16
113
TOM LEADER
3
2
2
2
0
2
24
72
RICHARD LUCAS
4
0
2
2
1
1
17
72
DAVID ARKELL
2
           
62
LEN WILCOCK
2
           
62
TERRY CECIL
2
           
38
GRAHAM McLAURIN
2
           
34
BRIAN CATCHPOLE
2
           
32
RON COX
2
           
28
PAUL GRICE
2
           
28
BEN HAYES
2
           
28
DENISE ROUSE
2
0
2
2
0
1
15
27
MAX SHANKLY
1
0
5
0
0
2
22
22
SCOTT CECIL
1
           
20
EDWARD MOSSE
2
0
1
1
0
1
8
20
DOUGLAS BENFORD
1
           
17
ANDY POTTS
1
           
16
ALAN SMITH
2
           
16
JAMIE TANNER
1
           
15
PHILLIPPA TANNER
1
           
15
JASON SHARP
1
           
14
ROB RICE
1
           
13
STUART FROST
1
           
12
JOHN LEACH
1
           
12
MIKE WENT
1
           
12
PHIL THOMPSON
1
           
8
ROY TANNER
1
           
6
JILL CROPPER
1
           
4

Undeterred by recent root canal surgery, Edward 'Electric' Mosse travelled with me to Walworth to sample Arment's fine fare. It was a mediocre day without, but the steam and striplights within positively cosseted the cockles of one's heart. We were served with cheerful celerity at one of the longest pie and mash counters you will ever encounter.

Even the menu board is long and thin. But it's certainly imposing and the exactitude of the prices commands instant respect: 'steak pie 166p', 'mash potato 88p'.

At 13.10, we were a shade early than advertised, but

When the plate's in your hands
and there's a booth for your bums,
it's simply not an option
to wait for your chums.

Piping hot pie porn.

But lo, what dark stranger lurks at the threshold of the hazard tape with this mashless expanse of pastry and liquor in prospect? It is the 'Tower of Dash', Max Shanly of Epsom, throwing down a youthful gauntlet to the stodgy old guard of the Pie and Mash Club.

Max discovered our society on the internet and immediately emailed me asking, 'Can anyone join in the competition or is there an entrance fee? Also, how will I identify my fellow enthusiasts?'

It was a pleasure to assure him 'this is not a rave or a game,this party is for you and it's for free if you dare'. [Apart from the food]. Plus a quick glance at some of these photo-reports will soon familiarise the newcomer with a recurring cast of characters; it's a sitcom based loosely on 'Friends', but funny, and with points.

The new kid on the block caused Rikk's dessert spoon to pause.

Fruit pie [cherry] 80p / Cream 26p.

Others came too. Here's Tom Leader up front in the window seat seasoning from one of Arment's trademark medicine bottles. How apt, for Pie and Mash is the restorative cure without compare.

And delightful Denise Rouse voyaged all the way down from Royal Berkhamstead to confer an air of gent-eel dignity upon the proceedings.

Here's a character I met after lunch. He's called Carl and he's in the import/export business: pies. He told me he was at Arment's to check out the competition. As if I hadn't swallowed enough already, I was clearly ingesting a second course, this time of pork pies.

Carl, a Brixtonian, was a fan of the late Bert's Pie Shop in Peckham. It closed a couple of years ago, but you can still check out our 2005 review of it here.

His daughter Freja has been brought up on the ambrosial scoff, and is clearly at home with a two pie combo. I guess you could say it takes two to tango.

Max 3, Edward 1, but Edward has natural fizz in abundance.

Ladies, despite his recent facebook status as 'engaged' I am happy to report that Edward Mosse is young, free and single . . .

So make a stand for your man, honey
Try to can the can
Put your man in the can, honey
Get him while you can
Can the can
Can the can
If you can
Well can the can

I'd be interested to know if anyone can explain that song to me.

On an historic footnote, what we have here is photographic evidence of a pie and mash meal prepared on French soil. These exciting developments come courtesy of club correspondent Maggie Baker who lives over there with husband Ken, and who contacted me about pie tins. Here they are in action and doing Blighty proud. 'The liquor was a bit on the Technicolour side (due to Ken adding all the parsley he had) but still tasted lovely.' It's long been my dream to open a Pie Shop in Paris and I feel we're one step closer.

St@