Take me home please
White's, Walton-on-the-Naze
Season 2010-2011

ROUND 3
06.11.'10

played
eels (4)
pie (4)
mash (3)
afters (2)
liquor (1)
sum
total
NICK EVANS
3
1
2
1
0
1
16
56
GRAHAM McLAURIN
2
           
34
RICHARD LUCAS
2
0
2
2
0
1
15
31
DAVID ARKELL
1
           
26
TOM LEADER
1
           
24
DOUGLAS BENFORD
1
           
17
RON COX
1
         
16
JAMIE TANNER
1
0
2
2
0
1
15
15
PHILLIPPA TANNER
1
1
2
1
0
2*
15
15
ROB RICE
1
1
1
1
0
2
13
13
MIKE WENT
1
0
2
1
0
1
12
12
STUART FROST
1
           
12
JOHN LEACH
1
           
12
BRIAN CATCHPOLE
1
           
12
DENISE ROUSE
1
           
12
ROY TANNER
1
0
2
1*
0
1
6
6

The journey to Walton-on-the-Naze on a Saturday morning could and should have consisted of nothing more than a breezy train ride from London's Liverpool Street directly to the picturesque Essex coast. However, 'track work' put paid to this notion in a manner to test the staunchest Pie and Mash supporter. Beginning at 8.45 that morning, my pielgrimage comprised train, tube, coach, train, train and train, reaching the fabled resort some three hours later.

The vibe was decidedly 'end-of-season' as I took an appetite-enhancing tour of the town and discovered the truly noteworthy window display, pictured above. For this is the home of renowned Lego artist Craig Stevens. Feast your eyes on some of Craig's creations at www.modelsbycraig.com 'where anything is possible'.

That said, I challenge Craig to render the complex, coruscating contours of the steaming composition featured far right. Would he have enough green ones for the liquor?

Yes, food hale and hearty was the order of the day, and I was delighted to meet Lord Roy and Lady Phillippa Tanner of Frinton at the dining table for a basin of our favourite scoff.

We were served with youthful vim by the charming duo of Natalie and Beth, pictured here. The White's whites they are wearing are worthy of closer inspection, for the logo is sheer eel-egance.

I was hailed by sometime correspondent Rob Rice, who just happened to be in the area and dropped in with his fellow North Essex Caravan Clubbers. Seen here: Mike, Derryn, Marianne and Rob. Marianne recently did a stint in a pie and mash shop, but she drew the line at having to heft a hundred weight of King Edwards in pails of boiling water from stove top to masher. That ain't no job for a lady!

Stylishly late, a champion of yesteryear sidled into the refectory at about 1.30, having undergone a four hour odyssey which included a 'wrong coach' and fifty five vitality-sapping minutes at Shenfield Station. With a complete absence of flap, the leather-clad Lucas ordered, paid, collected, sat down and dug in. 'It was almost worth the journey,' he commented drily. In the now legendary words, the jacket stayed on. If he doesn't wear it to bed, then my money's on a leather duvet . . . with a matching leather teddy of course.

This sporting young chap Jordan was coping manfully with the heat of the kitchen and the demands of the Saturday lunchtime rush hour. My peek into the galley was courtesy of Chris White, seen here, far right. Judging by immaculate appearances, she and hubby Glenn run a pretty tight ship. What caught my eye was the washing machine perched up at the back; that's how Whites get their whites so white.

Here is Lady Frinton in a moment of refined repose.

[Far right] This might best be described as a 'Pillock Box'. From early age, James Edward Tanner has been noted for a grin wide enough to accommodate a parcel.

After the meal it seemed appropriate to walk down the high street to the Queen's Head for a refresher. As if by magic, my old china plate Carl appeared to say a quick hullo. He just happened to be driving past when he spotted me going into the pub. What are the chances of that?

After which the conversation seemed to get stuck on a news item from the previous day; cement mixer plunges from bridge onto commuter train, without anybody being hurt. I'll say it again, what are the chances of that?!

We departed Walton-on-the-Naze under a rheumy autumnal sun skulking low in the sky. Conveyed in James' Ford Bluebottle we stopped in at Lord and Lady Frinton's residence to take afternoon tea and biscuits. Pictured far right is Rikk Lucas, trying to locate the end of the extensive driveway.

I would commend you to visit this charming and relatively unspoilt town in any event, but should you stop of a lunchtime you would be best advised to get stuffed in White's. They really do put the pie into Walton Pier.

St@