Take me home please
Kelly's, 414 Bethnal Green Road
Season 2009-2010

ROUND 6
09.01.'10

played
eels (4)
pie (4)
mash (3)
afters (2)
liquor (1)
sum
total
NICK EVANS
6
0
4
1
0
2
21
118
LEN WILCOCK
3
0
5
4
0
3
35
96
DAVID ARKELL
4
0
4
4
0
2
30
93
JASON SHARP
6
0
2
2
0
1
15
90
TERRY CECIL
5
0
3
1
0
1
16
87
BEN HAYES
5
80
ANTHONY RUELLO
4
71
DOMINIC MATTOS
4
67
ALAN TERRY
4
67
EDWARD MOSSE
6
0
2
1
0
1
12
66.5
ANDY POTTER
4
0
2
2
0
1
15
61
LUKE ROBERTS
3
0
4
3
0
1
26
59
SCOTT CECIL
3
           
52
TOM LEADER
2
           
51
RICHARD LUCAS
3
0
2
2
0
1
15
49
JONATHAN PHILLIPS
3
0
2
1
0
1
12
47
TONY CHUNG
3
           
39
DANIEL BOUQUET
2
34
GRAHAM DARLOW
1
           
32
ALAN SMITH
2
24
PAUL GRICE
1
0
2
2
0
1
15
15
JULIAN HITCHENS
1
           
15
UNCLE JIM
1
           
15
THOMAS KRAFT
1
           
12
REHAN QAYOOM
1
12
JOE OLIVENNES
1
           
11.5
AUNTY JAN
1
           
11
JUDITH DESCHAMPS
1
           
8

Dauntless members of the Pie and Mash Club braved icy conditions on 9th January for meeting number six of the season. G.Kelly was but a dim and distant memory in our collective consciousness, having been last visited one drizzly Friday lunchtime at the end of the twentieth century. I recall pies as grey, dismal and dreary as the weather that day, and the spartan interior did not lend itself to anticipatory salivation.

Service was curt, but a humorous splash of colour behind the counter gave one cause for hope, along with a Certificate in Food Hygiene.

A steamy moment with Len Wilcock: despite a trance-like appearance, Len was in fact creatively visualising this season's biggest digest yet: a massive five pies, four mash and three liquor, which would catapult this mild mannered model of modesty into silver medal place.

Kelly's remains a strict fork and spoon establishment, but it takes more than a minor cutlery setback to keep this young man out of a meat pie. Edward Mosse is currently between haircuts and I can't help wondering if he's holding out for a part in 'Young Worzel Gummidge - The Musical'.

These days one rarely sees the exposed pate of Luke Roberts, for his swede has become quite attached to this bright red titfer. He looks for all the world like a non-safety match, a lucifer if you will. His appearance is best described as 'striking'.

From Luke to Lucifer to Lucas: our former champ was making heavy weather of a humble portion but it was good to see him back on the marble-tops, even if the glory days are behind him. Observe and note the complete lack of tension in neck and shoulders and perfect cue-ing at the plate.

Andrew Potter is another man between haircuts, and I at first mistook him for legendary ivory-tinkler Elton John. But Sir Elton can only dream of having Potter's fertile follicles; had he massaged liquor into his scalp he might have saved himself a fortune on rugs (and drugs, probably).

These two buddies have lit up my season. Frigate-like, Mister Sharp has held a steady course thus far whilst David Arkell (I finally spelt his name right) rises to third in the league like a surfacing sub.

We were joined by newcomer Paul Grice, seen here with a portrait of the young Tony Sibson. Originally from Preston, Paul's first taste of the ambrosial scoff left him unmoved, but after a few more tries (and pies) he gradually acquired the taste and is now a regular of Noted's in Walthamstow. What an inspiring tale of self improvement!

Are you on the jelly?

This lot are on something.

As it happened the pies were so greatly improved from our previous visit that I had to go for seconds.

And if that isn't enough you can always suck on a 'Buddies' for 20p including the straw.

Kelly's Heroes: they set out to have a pie and damn near won a war instead!

There's nothing you can't get on Bethnal Green Road.

St@