Take me home please

 
Arment's, 7–9 Westmoreland Road
Season 2007-2008

ROUND 08
22.02.'08

Played
Eels
(5 pts)
Pie
(4 pts)
Mash
(3 pts)
Afters
(2 pts)
Liquor
(1 pts)
Subtotal
Total
GRAHAM DARLOW
8
3
3
1
0
1
31
259
TOM LEADER
7
207
RICHARD LUCAS
7
0
2
2
0
1
15
148
NICK EVANS
7
1
3
1
0
1
21
144
EDWARD MOSSE
8
1
2
1
0
1
17
104
MONTAGUE ST.JOHN MARTIN
3
63
TONY CHUNG
4
1
2
2
0
2
21
55
ALAN TERRY
3
           
54
JOHN LEACH
3
0
3
1
1
2
19
51
ALAN SMITH
4
51
BEN HAYES
3
0
3
2
0
2
20
49
MATTHEW WALKER
3
36
JAMIE TANNER
2
           
32
ROY FLOOKS
1
           
29
THOMAS KRAFT
3
0
2
1
0
1
12
28
DAVID ROYALTON-KISCH
2
27
GRAHAM McLAURIN
2
           
27
REHAN QAYOOM
2
           
24
CHRIS CLENSHAW
2
           
23
JILL CROPPER
2
           
16
RICHARD CARR
1
           
16
TED BATTS
1
0
2
1
1
1
14
14
BOB HOLLINGSWORTH
1
13.5
SIR PETER WARWICK
1
13

And so it came to pass that the merrie mashers made their way once more down that famous South London meridian, the Walworth Road, to Arment's palace of pies. A mercifully short bus ride enabled the appetites-on-legs to queue promptly for their ambrosial scoff at just before a quarter past one. We were greeted by talented lensman Myles Quin who was on hand to cover the event and take pics for a possible publication on people and their passions. It might include me and some pies. More details when I have them.

 

As you can see Myles has covered the basics artfully, with a peek into the gizzards of a successful p-n-m kitchen. 'Tis a veritable seventeen-jewel Swiss mechanism which ensures clockwork perfection in its delivery of the baked comestibles. But I like to think the jewels in this instance are the Arment's staff, who seem a happy lot in their smart blue uniforms. It's reassuring to know our pie and mash is prepared by real people and not tin-headed robots from outer space.

 

I don't know what the collective noun for pies is. I would have suggested 'steam' but it appears to have been reserved for something less appetizing in this handy web reference:
http://www.ojohaven.com/collectives/

What about 'a crust of pies'? An 'awe of pies'? Or a 'tranche' of pies? Please avail me of your suggestions.

Far right: presentation unlikely to be found in any restaurant. Ramsay – look and learn.

 

Our German colleague Herr Kraft was bowled over by the full-flavoured filling of the Arment's Pie; it does make you wonder if they should roll out a pastry franchise into the heart of Middle Europe. 'Pasteten und Kartoffelbrei' doesn't have the same ring – maybe it's because 'Ich bin ein Londoner'.

Shortly afterwards I was removed to Arment's 'naughty table' at the behest of the photographer.

We were joined by our friend from Feltham, Mister John Leach, with his pal Ted Batts of Richmond. Both indulged in the desserts on offer. Unfortunately custard is not on the menu, it's that cream stuff that comes out of a can, I think. Bill and Janice came along too, and I think they were quite impressed with the quality fare, though they insisted on retaining their non-competitive status.

There's me draining my bowl in the time-honoured fashion. Eddie and Tony formed the 'frame' for this natural and not-at-all staged photo.

An ambient shot of the shop. Plus a natural and not-at-all contrived picture of the scoresheet. There are errors on it, but don't worry, your statistician has since corrected them.

As ever, Arment's served up some top-notch scoff and we wended our way from Walworth to Waterloo with wide-mouthed smiles of wellbeing.

With my best condiments, St@

 

P.S. I should add that there was a late arrival, and I include his pitiful account and photo-evidence by way of vinegary entertainment.

"Friday was a day of trauma. As suggested, I purchased an Oyster card (something that I had avoided previously, as I thought you had to register and fill in a form, which automatically became a vote for Ken and guaranteed him droit de seigneur over your newts). I found the bus stop and joined the merry throng. I negotiated the intellectual challenge of presenting my card to the touch pad.
I sat down and began to enjoy the journey, despite the trepidation of travelling so far into souf London on my own . . .

". . . We reached the Elephant and Castle without incident, though the rather erratic driving was making me nervous. I got more nervous when the bus, a number 188 as you had advised, turned off and went along the Old Kent Road - a tangent to that which I thought proper. I got extremely nervous when we passed Manzies, and began to wonder if I was now destined to become an explorer of the mysterious East. Shortly after, my nervousness turned to near panic when we hit a small van. I may not be a seasoned bus traveller, but I know an altercation when I see one, and am very well aware that they lead to delays. So I decided to get off and walk the now-considerable-distance to Arments. Making the classic the mistake of cutting the dismal back streets of Walworth, I got lost.

"I finally arrived at 2 o'clock to find you all – gone. Well nearly all. [Mr John Leach] remained, bemoaning the lack of tea. I was now running very late and, after my excitements and all the walking, I was so flustered that I couldn't eat a thing, so I ordered only a snack. Needless to say I returned to the office by walking to the E&C tube and went home properly by underground, firm in my resolve never, ever, to travel on an omnibus again unless I am accompanied by a responsible adult."