Take me home please

Season 2004-2005

ROUND 10
08.04.'05

Played
Eels
(5pts)
Pie
(4pts)
Mash
(3pts)
Afters
(2 pts)
Liquor
(1 pt)
Subtotal
Total
NICK EVANS
9
2
2
1
0
1
22
184
RICHARD LUCAS
8
181
TOM LEADER
7
2
2
1.5
0
2
24.5-5=19.5
139.5
BEN HAYES
6
90
BOB HOLLINGSWORTH
3
44
ALAN SMITH
3
           
39
TONY CHUNG
3
0
2
1
0
1
12
32
GRAHAM DARLOW
1
25.5
STUART BOOTH
1
2
2
1
0
1
22
22
JAMIE TANNER
1
19.5
BONNIE MURRAY
2
17.5
CHRIS FAGG
2
           
16
MATTHEW WILSON
1
           
15.5
MATTHEW LOWING
1
15
RICHARD CARR
1
14
LEVANCIA CLARENDON
1
12
JILL CROPPER
1
8
DELPHINA JONES
1
6
NEIL BURKEY
1

4
MARIA DEAN
1
2
LORNA JAMES
1
2
MAXINE FOY
1
-6
Bert's, 3 Peckham Park Road

 

 

 

 

 


Meeting number 10 of the season took place at Bert's, just off the Old Kent Road. Timing was crucial, as this establishment closes its doors mercilessly at 1.30pm. In order to meet this stringent requirement, we had to be sure of getting bus 172 at exactly 12.45 from Waterloo, and it meant leaving behind two dear colleagues, Richard Lucas and Bob Hollingsworth. I later received this tragic message:

"Hope you had a good pie'n'mash meeting in Peckham. Me and Bob unfortunately had to settle for a Chinese 'greasy chopstick' kaf 'round the back of Waterloo Station."

Despite what you might think, this situation was not engineered by a second-place statistician eager to steal into pie pole position. In fact I decided that although the standard mash portion was a generous double-scoop, it could only be classed as a single serving – this being in line with most other p-n-m shops. Just take a look at those amply stacked plates to your right.


We were honoured by the presence (and pie-n-mash debut) of Stuart 'Mind, Body & Spirit' Booth, up from his rural residence for a day of 'culture' in Londinium.

This is a man who's been in front of a few 'ample stacks' in his time; and I mean amplifier stacks of course, silly. In fact, I daresay the 'power trio' shown right here have all had their eardrums shredded courtesy of a Marshall 4x12 or two. Tom lost another 5 points for the rendition of 'Black Night' on his mobile.

As you can see, the shop is suitably decked with original advertisements and follows a 'blue and black-n-white check' theme both inside and out. Disconcertingly, every time I addressed my plate Mr Booth kept disappearing from my peripheral vision.

The food, hospitality and ambience were found very much to our liking, but only the first item is available to "take home with you".

Despite eccentric opening hours, Bert's is well worth a trip down the Old Kent Road. Which is an old Roman road, as this nearby mural reminded us.

In the foreground you can see the pie pole I mentioned earlier. The chap holding it and wearing a saucepan lid is a Roman pie-vendor, and the paraphernalia atop his pole indicates that his pies are hand-made, and each filled with two fish. The parsley leaves of course symbolise liquor. Back then the broccoli grew as tall as their Thames-side villas, and the stuff we eat today is in fact only a recently-introduced Japanese edible bonsai variety.

If the local history and culture are not enough to lure you, take a peek at this review of Bert's from Timeout.